Missing A Part of Me
Embarking on a journey to discover my authentic self led me through three near-soul-deadening experiences. Over the past two decades, I navigated the realms of nursing, homemaking, and blogging, desperately seeking fulfillment. Despite the twists and turns, it took me 30 years to find my authenticity, a realization that had been staring me in the face. Now, I want to share five steps to help you uncover your radiant realness: Through self-reflection, embracing vulnerability, setting boundaries, living in alignment, and knowing what you like.
Spiritual Life Talk can get real. I have tried to find my authentic self for the last 30 years. My first encounter with feeling like I was not who I was supposed to be came after completing nursing school and diving deep into Geriatric Nursing. It was for sure full-filling for a short while. Then, I began to feel like I was missing a part of me. I wasn't sure if Nursing was what I wanted to do in life.
Despite that hesitation, I continued to be a nurse for 15 years. Then, I poured myself into homemaking. When my second child was born, I decided to stay home and become a full-time parent. As badly as I wanted to make being a stay-at-home mom, I itched to feel more than a caretaker again. I tried my luck with Zumba instruction, but I quickly realized it was much more fun to show up than to try to make others show up.
Around year seven of stay-at-home parenting, I decided I needed to do something more. I loved my kids but did not want to make them my scapegoats for my lack of life satisfaction. Around this time, I decided to start blogging. I began with my self-development blog, The Consequence of Being. It went well, but the SEO kept telling me my site name needed to be changed. I switched my site to Amazing Best You and kept writing. But despite it being a fun topic, it did not fit who I was.
Being who you are supposed to be is one of those concepts spiritual leaders and your therapist suggest to you when you feel a dysfunction with life. But it's easier said than done. What is authenticity? Who determines its meaning, and when do you know you have reached it? It's taken me 30 years to find my authenticity, and it was staring me in the face. I don't want you to take 30 years; no one should take 30 years. But I guess I had to help teach others what it truly is to be your authentic self. Here are some tips to help you find your radiant realness in five easy steps.
Five steps to help you embrace and be your authentic self:
1. Self-Reflection:
Take time to explore your values, passions, and beliefs. Reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, and the aspects of your life that bring you joy. Understanding yourself is crucial to living authentically. But remember, these things are amiable and moldable; don't build concrete ideas around who you are. This is about creating a guide, not a "5 Commandment". Remember, one of the highest forms of intelligence is being able to change and go with the flow.
2. Embrace Vulnerability:
Be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings, even if it feels uncomfortable. Embracing Vulnerability allows you to connect more deeply with yourself and others, fostering authenticity. When somebody questions your integrity, be willing to say, I am free to change when something doesn't feel right to me, and I owe no excuses.
3. Set Boundaries:
Clearly define your boundaries and communicate them to others. Knowing and asserting your limits helps you maintain authenticity by staying true to your values and needs. The more boundaries you set, the more you clean "house." Friends that don't align with your values leave, husbands that take and take, get tired of you putting your foot down, and even children whom you love with all your might begin to understand you are only human. Boundaries are natural life sorters; they sort what doesn't fit into your ideal life and align a clearer purpose.
4. Live in Alignment:
Align your actions with your values and beliefs. Identify activities, relationships, and goals that resonate with your authentic self, and make choices that support your genuine desires. Get out there, try things and people that call to you. This is the sweet spot of living, sampling what life has so you learn what you like.
5. You Like What You Like:
Embrace personal growth and change as a natural part of life. Stay open to learning more about yourself, adapting to new insights, and evolving in a way that aligns with your authenticity. But remember, you like what you like. This part is the most crucial step. We don't change that much; most of our lives as adults are making excuses for not living the life we always wanted. Life already shows us what we like, but choosing without judging ourselves for it is the most challenging part.
Take Away Talk
It wasn't that I didn't know what I wanted; I judged myself for enjoying it. I could cry; I wish I knew that I was already perfect. I wanted to be a spiritual teacher but kept waiting to reach perfection before declaring myself one. Another factor that kept me from pursuing spirituality and its teachings was the thought of what other people would think. How would they judge me? Would they think I was high and mighty? A wannabe?
I don't care anymore. Something in me becomes calm; I no longer want other people's approval. I no longer seek justification for who I am. I learned that who I am is not necessary; what I feel is. And I feel amazing. I feel good talking about spirituality. Find that thing that makes you feel happy, that you can do for hours, and that makes you feel like a little kid again, and do that. Peace, my Spiritual Life Talkers!